Every year at this time, me and my fellow Bulls fans like to play a game of pretend. We pretend that our favorite has a competent front office. We pretend that the owner cares about winning. We pretend that some day we may get out of the palace of mediocrity that owner and front office seem to defend with their lives. We pretend we can get out of the basketball Hell.
What is basketball hell you may wonder (if you aren't a Bulls fan). Well it means your team is never good enough to win a couple of playoff series and never bad enough to get a high first round pick. So basically the Bulls. Want to see basketball Hell in numbers? Here's the Bulls' record the past three seasons:
39-43
39-43
40-42
And this year so far they are... 24-29. Right on pace for the play-in game and quick exit from the playoffs.
But since I only have about four days left to dream that we may escape this circle of Hell, here's a crazy idea... MAKE A TRADE (or 4)!
Well they actually did something very non-Bull like already by basically buying two 2nd round picks yesterday. Yesterday they helped the Sacramento Kings and Cleveland Cavaliers complete a trade for real players. By taking on Dario Saric's $5 million contract, the Bulls were awarded with those picks. They then waived one of their many, many, many guards who was making $6.8 million. With 40% of that still owed, the Bulls did the unthinkable and chose those two draft picks over putting the $2.7 million in their pockets. And who knows, maybe they can include Saric's salary in another deal. Some would even call it a FREAKISH deal.
That's right, it is again time to do the Bulls front office's job for them. Here is the recipe to go out and get The Greek Freak himself, Giannis Antetokounmpo!
The first step to this is the absolutely most important one. After all he has done for teh Milwaukee Bucks, Giannis has earned teh right to steer himself to the best situation for him. I don't mean he gets to make the Bucks take a deal for pennies on the dollar, but his wishes should break a tie. So the Bulls need to convince Giannis that Chicago is the place for him. THey can offer the second largest Greek community behind only New York. They call also offer still living in the Midwest... which Giannis actually seems to like for some reason. They can also offer him the history of the Bulls and to finally being the one to pick up where Michael Jordan left off. So let's say they pull that off. How can they give Milwaukee a deal that is not a complete one-sided ripoff?
The Bulls have exactly one up and coming potential star. he is 6'10" Forward Matas Buzelis. He made the second team all rookie team last year. This year he is scoring 15.1 points per game while shooting 26,8% from three and 47% over all. He also leads the Bulls with 1,3 blocks per game. He's actually good... which is a shock. After convincing Giannis is the place to be, Milwaukee valuing Buzelis is the second most important piece.
Next, the Bucks either need to want SG Coby White or they want to be able to flip him for another asset. Because the Bucks traded away several picks when the foolishly traded for Damien Lillard, they don't really have much of an incentive to tank in the coming years. Sadly, they need to take the Bulls' spot in basketball Hell for a while. So getting a possible future all-star and a fringe-all star might not be bad for them.
The next valuable commodity the Bulls can offer are expiring contracts. the Bulls can absolutely make it rain expiring contracts! In this case if they tossed in Zach Collins, Dario Saric, and Julian Phillips the salaries would match.
The final piece would basically be as many first round picks as it took to make the deal happen. It seems the new going rate is four first round picks, so let's just do that. The Bulls don't need them anyway as the always draft horribly... with the one exception of Buzelis.
So here's the recipe:
Step 1: Get Giannis to want to come join the Greek community to Chicago
Step 2: Convince Milwaukee that Matas Buzelis will be an All-Star some day
Step 3: Make Milwaukee salivate at the potential $50 million in cap space they would have this off season if they were only able to get some of those valuable expiring contracts
Step 4: Offer this package :
Bulls get
Giannis Antetokounmpo
Bucks get
Matas Buzleis
Coby White
Zach Collins
Dario Saric
Julian Phillips
4 first round picks
Sadly the final step is to turn your alarm clock off and to wake up from a dream of a place where the Bulls aren't a complete dumpster fire. Actually no. I'm going to hit snooze. I still have a few more days to play pretend.